Random stuff kids eat

What is it with little kids sticking all kinds of stuff in their mouth holes? I’m talking down right rank , weird and wacky stuff that is just not supposed to be ingested! They are like scavengers, willing to basically eat anything without question.
It might just be my kids, I’m hoping it’s ‘normal’?
Here are some of the gross crap I’ve found mine having a munch on.

Mud

My son was a regular consumer of mud and compost aeound age 2. We would be playing in the garden and he would turn round in true horror movie fashion and it would be all seeping out his mouth. He would smile and his teeth and tongue would be caked it in. It used to really stress me out back when I was new at the parenting game. I’d run over and be baby wiping that all out of his mouth in distress, pleading with him to not eat it or it would make him sick. He didn’t give a damn though, the boy couldn’t get enough, he’d be back ten minutes later shovelling it back in there. I remember thinking he must be one of those people who have that condition where they eat bad stuff, fearing he would progress to hardcore debris like stones and glass (I looked this up and it FREAKED ME OUT!!!!). He eventually just stopped doing it.

My daughter then started doing it too, at a similar age. Lapping up that grimey goodness. I didn’t stress it the second time round, just left her to it in the fashion that one does with the second child. She’ll survive.

Play Doh

They love a bit of this brightly coloured salty blubber. It’s non toxic apparently so I guess its not the end of the world if they do tuck into it. The play Doh Company I feel don’t exactly try to discourage ingestion of their product. All the accessories and packs you can buy to accompany and use alongside the dough itself, are food themed. From pizza parlour to ice cream factory they have it covered, although we have the dentistry set and my daughter ate the teeth shaped dough too so, y’know!?

My daughter once found some old dried out crusty play doh in the garden. Even tried eating that.

Chalk

Yup, kids love this chalky goodness. Once it meets saliva is turns into a stream of creamy goo. Absolutely gross and gets everywhere. Apparently the IKEA ones are particularly appetizing going by my kids. The giant garden ones can serve 2!

Crayons

It’s so gross when your kids eat.these, you can see the waxy curls on their teeth. Urgh. We had an unfortunate run in with an ingested crayon once…. that’s another blog, but for the record, a consumed crayon WILL change the colour of your poo!

Bath sponges

In my house a sponge has 5 uses to my kids….
1) To stick stuff in, like pencils, fingers, lego people etc.
2) To use as a drinking receptacle. Soak up water and suck it out
3) A food stuff, bite a chunk of sponge and eat it
4) As a water bomb… soak up water and throw at mum whilst she is bathing us
5) Its actual intended use

Board books

They make these for babies so they can’t rip the pages and ruin the book, however we have yet to own one that doesn’t get mauled in the corners and end up a soggy, half eaten, swollen mess at the edges. No pages ripped , however half the book in my baby’s gut!

Sticks

Not just for dogs, both mine as toddlers liked to suck and/or chew on a stick. Sometimes after digging the ground with it for a while, thus getting daily dose of mud too. Yummerific.

Food packaging

Most food packets have ended up in my kids mouths but over the years a few firm favourites have emerged.
1) Up in top place is the cupcake case. This one is understandable. There is cake residue in the case, a good old chew on this is next best thing to more cake.
2) Foil wrapper. Like above this often will have chocolate residue but once this gets into your mouth there is no going back. It disintegrates and breaks into pieces and its a damn nightmare to get out of your kids mouth and teeth
3) The faithful lolly stick. We’ve all been there. Only my kids take it to savage new levels and gnaw that stick until its splintered in pieces. At now ages 5 and 7 this trend is still going strong.

Sand

This is just plain wrong. The gritty texture of this and sound of it grinding between your child’s teeth is enough to make you cringe. Can’t take a toddler to the sand pit or the beach without them treating themselves to a mouthful of this salty maker of glass. I’m sure we can all recall a trip to the beach where a stray grain has made it into our sarnie. Why on earth anyone would seek this experience out is totally beyond me.

Just No.

Clothing

Over the years my kids have been quite frequent chewers of clothing. Like moths plaguing our wardrobes with little holes made by their teeth. Tell-tale little holes around the cuffs are the give away here. Apparently extra tasty when the sleeves are pre-caked in snot.

Baby wipes

Thankfully not managed to get hold of a poo ridden one, but prior to me using reusable wipes both my kids had given a good old water wipe a run for its money. Sucking the moisture out and then dragging and pulling it whilst gripping it with their teeth, like a dog with a rope toy. Not sure if all brands of wipes would do, but those water wipes do say they contain fruit extract so who knows. Maybe the kids are on to something?

Other Fun Munchies!

Other stuff my kids have eaten include:

• Raw potato
• Food off the floor in the street
• Drinks coasters
• Toilet roll
• Paper
• Bogies (standard)
• Hair from their head or another’s
• Dirt from between their toes
• unidentified substances they find on the floor
• Cotton wool.

They are also quite partial to sticking their entire mucky paws in there too! Yup, the entire hand.

What random crap have your kids eaten?

Pictures are a combination of authors own and free images from unsplash