Gahhhhhhh. Cabin fever!!!
So we are on week 3 at home, and officially second week since UK went into lockdown.
Last week I felt kind of proud if how I was doing, I was rocking that daily timetable for the kids, was baking like a badboi and the weather was glorious.
Something has changed this week. Its Wednesday, the timetable has gone to shit and the kids have spent way too much time watching TV. Been starting each day doing the Joe Wickes PE lesson live on YouTube. Who are these gladiator kids this is aimed at? Day 3 and my ass and thighs are broken! I cant sit down, I cant stand up, I’m walking around like I’ve ridden a horse bare back! The agony!!! Its all a little shameful. Should have stuck to the kids cosmic yoga like last week. Saw Wickes did a workout for the elderly on the one show…. that’s probably more up my street!
The baked goods have declined as the flour reserves dwindle. The shops still have a serious deficit of flour so I’m getting down to the weird and wacky flours to use now. Got a jar of gram flour. Gonna be using that for cookies … the only thing I know that’s used for is onion bhaji and pakora!!
Worse news is that the chocolate reserves have gone. We agreed Si would only do 1 shopping trip a week for groceries and I can’t really justify a trip to buy chocolate as essential. I’ve got desperate, been scouring the internet for flour and chocolate treats. I’m clearly not alone in this pursuit as EVERYWHERE has sold out. Holland and Barrett, the flour mills direct. Even Amazon has not got any chocolate unless you subscribe to their prime fresh and even then there is a serious wait on deliveries. You search for chocolate or flour on google and Ebay comes up! Some mofos selling chocolate and flour on Ebay at extortionate prices!!!
I’ve just bought recently expired goodies from Approved foods. More hotel chocolat sleekster boxes coming my way thank you very much. Disgusting. Spent like £50 on junk just to get the free delivery! Essentially £50 of expensive but reduced chocolate and kids ‘organix’ snacks so I can stuff all our mouth holes to keep the kids quiet and fill the empty void of despair in me that this whole situation has created!
The coffee machine broke the other day and Si almost had a breakdown. It was like end of days for him. Spent hours taking the whole thing apart but thankfully was able to fix it. Would have been devastated otherwise. Both of us would have been like moody zombies moping about the house. Si probably would have taken to eating fresh grinds whilst twitching in the corner of the room.
Food supplies in the house getting low now, all that random stuff that’s been in the cupboard for donks is slowly going as I try to be inventive with what to cook and keep to our once a week shop. Sucky as the car got scrapped just before all this madness so having to rely on what Si can carry back in one trip!
He ventures out at the break of dawn, like the hunter gatherer Neanderthal, braving the dangers of the coronavirus ridden world of south London. He carries back all he can to feed the mouths of his feral kids and his partner, who hasn’t washed her hair in 6 days and looks quite the part of the caveman wifey!
The freezer is even lacking food. No damn space in there anyway. Practically every drawer is stuffed with weekly portions of fresh coffee beans that Si has rationed out for the next 6 months! 🤣🤣🤣
Utilising all we have though, down to having sandwich fillings like Jam, PB and carrot (not together of course that would be madness!!!). Found some microwave cake mixes to cook in a mug yesterday, that I got as a free sample. Was so excited. Sticky toffee pudding in a mug from a microwave. Oh yes!!! Will be rocking the super noodles for dinner next. Just that little bit more civilised than a pot noodle. Requires an actual bowl for one!
On a positive Si and I played a game of cards against humanity with our mates online, using house party app at the same time so got to see all their lovely faces and hear their voices. Really nice!
The weather is predicted to get better for the weekend though and the sun is set to return so I’m hopeful things will start to look up. Its been cold and grey all week which has made being outside in the garden less appealing. I’m certain this has made us all feel more doom and gloom.
Si and I also been at each other all week. Its all been quite intense and there is no space to get away from each other’s faces in this flat. I’m stressed with the kids and his work has been super stressful. We cope by calling each other ludicrous jokey insult names in a fun, but passive aggressive, manner, or sending each other insulting emojis!
Ravey has taken to incessant manic and hysterical rants about poo and all things poo related. I’m sure its his age but it is seriously doing my nut. “You are a poo poo bum bum smelly poo hahahha” he squeals at me whenever I ask him to do anything. “No, you’re a poo poo boo boo”. It shouldn’t annoy me its just nonsensical toilet talk which clearly brings him much entertainment and merriment, but after 3 weeks its driving me potty (ha no pun intended). When the kids are particularly pushing us to insanity Si and I hide in the kitchen and whisper insults at them and joke about how we might solve the issue. “He is being a complete dick head” I might say. “shall I box him in the face?” Si responds. “yeah beat him good and proper, boy is cruising for a bruising” I respond. We both laugh our heads off and we resume with normal life. This sadistic humour really helps keep us sane, it allows us to vent our frustrations and anger and reminds us that although at times they may be the worst, that in reality you would never really hurt them and the situation is actually really quite funny. I love Si, he gets me, we share the same fucked up humour.
The clocks went forward on Sunday. Great for the farmers, shit for parents of toddlers and preschoolers. I’ve had the same conversation for the last 4 nights “mummy why do I have to go to bed its not night time yet the sun is still out”. For the record it is impossible to give a satisfactory explanation to a 4 year old about the point of daylight savings. Lets face it most of us adults don’t see why we bother either. Its meant bedtime has taken so much longer and its eaten into our evening. On Sunday night Roo just wouldn’t sleep she was awake from 11pm-2am!
Its the 1st April today. March 2020 will go down as officially the longest month in the world ever.
Just heard that Ravey’s preschool staff have been furloughed, which means they clearly aren’t going to be reopening before the summer is out? We may have to accept that he won’t get to say goodbye to his friends and teachers or have a transition before starting primary school in September (if that even happens!). So sad for him and fills me with terror to think he is likely to be home now for the next 5 months!! We find out what school he gets into in 2 weeks. Equally exciting and nerve wracking stuff. Hope he gets into a good school but one that’s not too far in case all this horror is still around.
Lets hope we can beat this virus and can start getting out again in the not too distant future. For all our sanities!