What is it about being a stay at home mum or parent that gets to people?
Since I chose to quit my job to be home full time I am constantly questioned about when I intend to return to work and the inevitable “what do you do all day?”.
In this post I discuss why stay at home parents, and mothers in particular are undervalued this way and why we do not owe people an explanation.
I’m a mum not a maid
What is the role of the stay at home parent? Is it to nurture and care for our children or is the unspoken expectation that your role is to do it all?
In this post I discuss the difference between what we expect from a paid childcare provider and what we expect from stay at home mums (or fathers) and whether society needs to rethink how it values the role of parents at home.
New Year, Same you: Resolutions, diet Culture and never being enough
New year. A time where we are bombarded by advertising for new holidays and gym memberships.
The articles pushing new fad diets, self improvement and the focus on the new year and a new you.
The pressure to make resolutions and to declare to all what pursuit you will make to be better, look better and do better.
In this post I discuss the damage of diet culture and the constant strive to change. And how its only now, at 40, that I feel able to say “I am enough as I am”.
Ticking ‘Ms’: The right feminist thing to do?
If the patriarchy had its way we would go from a Miss, the age old indicator of youth and virility to a Mrs; one possessed in marriage.
And if you don’t marry? Do you stay with a child title forever?
In this day and age is it time to say goodbye to Mrs and is embracing the Ms at 18 the right and feminist thing to do?
When will I become a real grown up?
I am going to be 40 in a few months and I’m just wondering, when will I become a real life grown up?
I’m getting older for sure but is it just me that feels like I’m still not quite like all the others and am yet to reach womanhood?
In this post I talk about feeling like an imposter adult, what it means to be a woman and how society has created an idealised version of womanhood which is not realistic.
Fathers matter too: The patriarchy’s devaluation of dads
As a strong feminist could spend many an hour ranting and raving about all the BS women have to go through as the result of living in a society structured, constructed, managed and maintained by men at the top, but you know what is also a feminst issue?
The devaluation of fathers!
The role of a father is just as important and the narrative that men can just work and it has no impact on their children is false and damaging.
It robs our children of that precious time, it robs fathers of value and worth beyond rough and tumble and money earners, and it perpetuates the gender roles within families.
In this post I talk about how in order for us to really have equality in the workplace we need to stop devaluing the role of fathers in the home.
Parental inequality, Damaging mum labels and the devaluation of fatherhood
If you are a mum, you are very quickly put into a box. You are either a “working mum” or a “stay at home mum”. Because in society we love to label a mum. Where are all the “working dads” at?
In this post I unpack some of the problems with labelling mums, parental inequality and the devaluation of fathers, and how in order for women to truly be able to “have it all” something needs to shift.
Miscarriage: The loss behind closed doors
Like most things connected to women and women’s bodies, society has served to keep us uninformed and feeling unable to talk about it openly.
Miscarriage is not a secret burden to carry.
In silence we only serve to perpetuate the expectation that the grief of miscarriage should occur behind closed doors.
In this post I discuss the experience of miscarriage, the NHS services journey and what we need to do in society to support people in their grief.
Maternity Leave: The origins of mum guilt?
Maternity leave is often the longest period of time we get to spend with our children. This precious time is often woven with difficulties and pressures both internal and external to be the perfect parent. For many maternity leave is when mothers first start to experience mum guilt. The constant evaluation and criticism of everythung you do and whether it may be good enough. In this post I look at maternity leave and the pressure to be a good homemaker.
Motherhood & Feminism: Quitting Your Job to be a ‘Stay at home Mum’
I wanted to have a family, a career and to be financially independent.
By putting my career on hold to look after my children am I reinforcing the stereotype of the mother and not furthering the pursuit for women’s equality in the workplace following childbirth?
By not working am I dependent on my male counterpart and not sending the right message to my children about women’s roles?
Feminism is about empowering women to make informed choices about their own lives but as a ‘stay at home mum’ I feel most judged and unsupported by other women and mums.